Category: Anxiety

The anxiety I have towards my kids health and well being when my husband leaves town is real. Last weekend when he was out of town my  eleven year old daughter became very ill and some of her symptoms caused her to panic. That was a rough weekend for both my daughter and myself. I felt so helpless and very fearful as I too struggle with fear of illnesses and panic. We both made it through it, but to be honest, instead of feeling empowered by the emotional coping I had to do, I feel more afraid.

My daughter has never panicked from being sick. The symptoms caused from her high fever were very scary to her, and to me. Two ibuprofen were barely doing the trick. She’s very sensitive towards her physical symptoms, so I can’t really let her ride it out, although, that’s what she ended up having to do. However, I don’t want her to have to go through that again. It was awful for both of us. I’m pretty sure I felt her emotional and physical pain in every cell of my body. I also felt that I really needed my husband in that situation. He remains much calmer then me and he actually keeps me calmer as well. So now he’s gone again, and here I am fearing another sick situation…

And then there’s my teen son. He’s a big risk taker on skis. He enjoys hitting huge jumps and inverting himself in the air. Although I do have to say, he’s has a good head on his shoulders and he doesn’t do things before he is ready. He’s been practicing for years and is very calculated, but still… anything could happen and god forbid it did, I would want my husband to be here in an emergency.

I know I’m too dependent on my husband when it comes to my kids health and well being, but I can’t imagine going through a real crisis with the kids in his absence. I worry about this for days before he leaves and when he is gone. I know I can’t expect him to never leave, however it challenges me in every way. I know life teaches us lessons and we really don’t have control over anything, but I fear lessons and no control. Just typing this makes me afraid that life is going to throw something at me this weekend while he is gone. HELP!

 

Anxiety has always been a part of my life, even when I was a small child. I have many fears that I deal with on a daily basis. Yes, I will  be blogging about these fears and anxieties every week as I experience some these pretty much everyday.  My biggest fears are small enclosed places and sicknesses, especially vomiting, which is called Emotophobia. (this article explains it well) Yes, I have a severe fear of me puking(especially in public), or seeing someone else puke. In fact, if I hear that someone is/has been sick, I will avoid anywhere that person has been. I especially keep my kids away from public places where someone may have been contagious. I know I have no control over their school, but I do make them wash hands right when they get home, just in case… Sadly, I think I have passed on this fear to my daughter. When she has actually been sick, I am able to remain calm, but I think my extreme preventative measures have caused her some anxiety around the issue. My mother also has this phobia. She was also able to remain calm when I was sick, but I could feel her panic within. Grrrr….

And then there’s flying.  About week before travel I am on edge and grouchy with the entire family. I try extra hard to keep our kids out of the public(selfish)during this time. The combination of being claustrophobic on a plane and having my kids, or myself get sick is just too overwhelming. Yes, I have some Xanax, but hate to have to use it. On top of all of this, my son has always had motion sickness(car and plane), just my luck! See? “It’s all about me, not him”, is what my husband says. Truly though, I hate when my kids suffer, but am working on it as I know it is a part of life and they need to know how to cope. Oh but I do feel their pain and would always prefer me to be sick over them.