So I have these big ideas about open marriage, and have worked so hard at convincing my husband this is right for our marriage, but honestly, I suck at making anything happen. I have three men texting with me and I feel totally annoyed with them. Perhaps the timing is off, but I’m not really putting any effort into it. I feel like I’m going through a dry spell. I’m feeling sexually and emotionally numb, well except for my anxiety. I don’t feel attractive and I also do not feel attracted to anyone else. I almost feel asexual lately. This sadens me because I have always had my own inner sexual desires and confidence. This has really only been going on for a few months, but it feels like I have lost a pretty big part of myself.
I am in my mid forties and am very much aware that my hormones and body chemistry are changing. I wish I could embrace this, however, it feels awful. I’ve always been full of sexual energy and excitement. I’ve always felt noticed and desired. Now I’m fearful of becoming invisible. Sadly, women are noticed for their beauty and youthfulness, not what we have accomplished or our kind hearts, or the beautiful children we have have raised. It’s the truth, we disappear as we age and there is nothing we can do about it.