My Obsession with Sleep

My life revolves around sleep.(selfish). I am obsessed with getting enough sleep, so much that it carries over into my children’s life. (I’ll talk about that part in minute.) I’ve always felt that I have been hypersensitive to lack of sleep and have become a terrible sleeper since my children were born and even more so as I age. And for me, that means less than eight hours. If I do not get that much sleep I have an extremely hard time pushing through my day. And since daily exercise is crucial for me because of my anxiety          (see post under anxiety and exercise), I worry about not sleeping even more so. Whereas if my husband lacks sleep, he is absolutely fine. So unfair! Therefore, I have to follow a rigid before bedtime sleep routine. Such as dim lighting in my house, no computer or phone at least an hour before bed. If my dinners are rich or fatty, I’m screwed. Definitely no alcohol. Sometimes I feel this has been my curse because I am not able to enjoy any type of evening socialization. Not that I never socialize in the evenings, but it’s rare and I wish I could more often. If I do go out in the evenings, I pretty much just resign to the fact that I’m going to have a shitty night and won’t plan on anything big the next day. My poor husband is afraid to even roll over in bed because he does not want to wake me. Yeah, if I’m woken, it’s all over for me. If he for some reason is having a restless night, he’ll go to the couch so I can rest, sacrificing his own sleep for mine(selfish). I must have about 10 different natural sleep aids(post coming soon on this), along with prescription sleeping pills and anti anxiety. I rarely use those prescriptions, but knowing that I have them makes me feel better.

Oh and then there are my kids… ever since they were born, I religiously followed a book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child”and it worked so well that I am convinced that my kids were and still are great students and athletes because they are well rested. No joke, my 11-year-old daughter goes to bed at 7:45, and my 13-year-old son goes at 8:00. They don’t even question bedtime because they know it’s always been this way and I will never budge. I rarely let them have sleep overs because of my anxiety about their ability to participate in mentally and physically demanding sports and school. My husband believes I carry this to the extreme because their bedtime schedule rule our evenings. They miss out on some fun stuff, even on vacations(selfish). I believe their sleep is more important than evening activities because I am worried about them getting sick or being grouchy as I do not want to deal with that(selfish). Their sleep is also a safety net for me as I have an extreme fear of sickness(see posts under anxiety). So yeah, I’m kind of nut case when it comes to our family sleep schedule.I guess you call me the sleep nazi.